Private to Siobhan, Laina, Murderbot over the Sendjewel Network

[ohaiyo_isekai]

WARNING: frank discussion of IRL transphobia; the deep deep spoilers to the Wonders of Mundus series as a whole are likely.

To Siobhan, Laina:
I - suspect you two had a better idea than I did of who young Tsukuda was but I would speak to you both about the context.

To Murderbot:
I suspect you are more inclined to talk to me over the Sendjewel than in person. My name is, for the sake of argument, Hikaru Aozora; I knew you in the story as Rin. I'd like to talk with you about what I perceived of what happened if you'll allow me.

Comments

1

[terraboo]

I. Erm. Yes hello. Hi.

[Laina is blinking.]

Akira Tsukoda. That was you. Except taller and less wing-y. Darker hair. Skateboards are cool. I probably looked crazy the entire time didn't I.

Where should we meet? I didn't do anything hurtful right? I-I'm sorry if I did???

[Yup. There's some stress in there.]

[ohaiyo_isekai]

...I was far more American and therefore far less inclined to say 'innit' but that fucking shitshow was more or less a reasonable facsimile of the trials of the real Akira, nee Michiko, Tsukuda.

Which is to say myself. As I was on Earth. During the early Screaming Twenties.

Given the circumstances you did well, but if you would speak to me in person I'll be in the garden.

[terraboo]

Right. Yes. See you there.

[... She's actually there pretty quickly, in part due to having the skill for it.]

Hello.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

[He is tending to a small rosebush, in gloved hands. Spreading fertilizer. He gets up from on hands and knees, and removes the gloves.]

...I was quite fortunate, really, compared to my British counterpart. Even as early as 2012, the UK was not kind to those who realized they are the sons of Scherzo or daughters of Eranda late in life. By 2025, the height of what made the generation who came of age then 'Screamers,' both sides of the pond had a nickname for that country. "TERF Island."

I don't think you've had the dubious pleasure of meeting Sara Dreschner, but she is the Queen of the TERFs. Or trying to set herself up as such on Mundus.

[terraboo]

[Laina watches from a couple steps away. She's never done much gardenwork at the Monastery, being more focused on the books.]

I haven't had the pleasure of stabbing her with my spear, no.

And... It felt like I saw less of that in the village. But I have heard of her yes.

[Thanks to Sio, she doesn't clarify yet.]

People like her are kinda pathetic, aren't they? Just pathetically weird.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

It is a venom for the soul, a poisonous wyrm that devours the brain, that there is no more to life than being a crab in buckets labeled “man and woman” trying to claw it’s way to the top - that no one can escape them, much less deserve to, even less that there is an ocean vast and deep beyond the buckets.

[He grits his teeth.]

Much like the worship of the nameless tyrant queen, it ends with nothing left but the hateful egregore, hungry for more souls to render empty and miserable.

[terraboo]

Yeah. It's... Sorry, I don't really have much useful to add.

Just glad no one like her is here. She seems... I don't think anyone's beyond salvation? But she pushes it for sure. And that's just from what I've heard.

And that was common in the UK at the time? That... Damn it. I shouldn't be surprised about shitty people, but it still hurts.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

Yes. Well.

I did not well like the reminder of who I was before I became who I am. I like even less that this is how you found out.

Imagine my finding out Siobhan’s secrets when the next story casts her as the princess of Planet Verdholtz fleeing the Baron’s battlecruiser in a tramp fuser, desperate for the protection of a psychic templar knight with dark skin, dense curly black hair, a force shield on her left arm and a starlance that ignites into the colors of the fucking sun at dawn, and you will understand my present outrage at the Librarians.

[This entire rant - for it was one - delivered in an even, deliberate, dry tone except where his anger starts to show through the cracks at the end.

He knows about Sio - Sigrid. And he knew Laina knew.]

[terraboo]

I... Yeah. I get it. A lot.

It strikes a lot of things that are to put it lightly not great. The loss of control of the situation...

The next time this happens, it could be me. Or Sio, yeah. Or any of the others. Our memories woven into a tale and laid bare for anyone who looks to see. Possibly without even realizing it until most of the way through.

[... Yeah, she didn't catch on that it was Hikaru until Sio told her at some point.]

[ugh_emotions]

...I don't know you. Although I guess you know Siobhan. You have the same Feed connection.

(Because oops, it doesn't have anyone by that name it its records; it has no way to connect Hikaru to his Story persona.)

[ohaiyo_isekai]

Thank you for introducing her to some new and exciting works. That girl is brilliant and deserves every byte.

But no, I rather think you do, better than I know you, which I would correct. There are too few people of my time, or that one, who would defend a young transgender man's right to be himself.

My Earthside name is Akira Tsukuda. You've heard it before. I'm sorry he was Like That, I grew out of it, mostly.

[ugh_emotions]

Oh.

(Okay, so Hikaru had basically looked like someone else completely. Guess that was a thing that could happen, apparently.)

(There is also an overwhelming sense of [bafflement] from SecUnit: it does not understand what, exactly, it is being thanked for. Except it doesn't seem to be for the rescue, for some reason.)

Uh. Hi? Again, I guess. Sorry you had to be someone else for a while, or whatever the fuck just happened.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

Someone else, yes. Someone I haven't been for years. I didn't appreciate the reminder.

Should I still call you Rin, and is it still they and them? I think it's best to call me Hikaru, he and him, though Akira is acceptable.

(Basic courtesies are due everyone, after all.)

[ugh_emotions]

Yes.

(It wasn't. But SecUnit wasn't about to tell anyone that they should be preferring to it as 'it/its'. Or that they should actually call it SecUnit. That would be revealing far too much.)

You and Other You still share a name?

[ohaiyo_isekai]

That's a more difficult question than it seems. How much did Siobhan explain about my situation? For all of her intelligence she only has her half of the story, for all I'm amazed at all the flotsam from my world that washed up on her shores.

(Himself included.)

[ugh_emotions]

She didn't.

Are you the friend who transcoded the media I gave her?

(Siobhan's been rather vague about this particular 'friend' of hers, but SecUnit has assumed that whoever they are, they're around here somewhere. Analysis suggests a 67% likelihood that Hikaru and the 'friend' are the same person.)

[ohaiyo_isekai]

I... no. And I doubt Laina would know how, though it's possible. That's... a secret she deserves to explain herself, but...

She shouldn't have access to that kind of technology unless there are game master and administrative functions to the Sendjewel she somehow found before I did. Gnomon's infinite scroll. Fuck.

Alright. From the top. Are you familiar at all with virtual reality games? MMORPG, online battle arenas, and the like?

[codeswitchcraft]

Michiko was you, yes. I'm sorry it took me far too long to realize that, but you look very different as an Earth Andrax--sorry, as a human--than you do as a pixie. And I didn't know you'd done Scherzo's special rites--or the Earthly equivalent, I guess. But I did know it was you when I kissed you.

There's a brief pause there.

I don't regret the kissing. But I should probably warn you about the complications to that back on Mundus.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

Bless you for your unique genius. And no, I can well guess some of those complications, but I would fain speak to thee in person about both complications and kisses.

The gardens await, o defender of those who cannot well defend themselves.

[codeswitchcraft]

I should be more in command of myself when I get there, at least, she replies, perhaps ominously.

It takes her longer than it does Laina to find him and once she does Hikaru will see the places on her clothing that the seams strained to contain her human frame when she was immediately returned, but she is all pixie when she gets there.

"You are an archivist of the knowledge about Mundus on Earth, aren't you?" Siobhan says, having had time to think about Hikaru's words as she took her time navigating the library. "So likely you were able to recognize me through that knowledge, especially if there were illustrations. I though the change of hair and clothing a sufficient enough disguise so far away as Viacruz."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

“Anyone else likely would not have recognized you, no. I know none of our boon companions suspected, not even Deedee, who confessed her foreknowledge you were of Mundus and not of Earth to me after you confirmed it.”

He pauses for a beat, eyes flickering between the rosebush he’s tending and the woman he now realizes loves him back.

“…your Highness.”

[codeswitchcraft]

She shakes her head.

"Just Siobhan now. We are no longer on Mundus at present and I am different from all the other Sigrids on the other Mundi anyway, not the least because I have traveled further afield and taken actions for myself."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

“Correct,” he says, not further elaborating. (Sometimes the failure mode of clever can be asshole.)

Then:

“On Rin’s advice, I will not mention to anyone not actually present the… truth of Akira as my true name. For the same reasons best not to mention who you were before you were Siobhan, to those without that knowledge. Has Laina recognized you?”

[codeswitchcraft]

"Of course Laina has," Siobhan says, slightly exasperated. "Don't your knowledge archives tell people where to find me on the other Mundi? She was helping me hide at her monastery when we both Woke Up. She knew me before I was Siobhan."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

Hikaru presents the top of his palms, apologetic.

“I knew the various Lainae were the various Sigridii’s allies in the Verdholtz Rebellion questline. I did not know Laina Chimera’s part in your personal Awakening, though I could guess that our Laina was she,” he explains, patiently. “My knowledge of your world is vast, but not total, and is biased towards my seeking to find the seams in the various abstractions of the game depicting Mundus. And for all that I’ve Mind primary I can be shockingly stupid, too.”

He sighs. “As you discovered when you met poor Michiko of the nameless crushing dread ‘she’ could not understand.”