Private to Siobhan, Laina, Murderbot over the Sendjewel Network

[ohaiyo_isekai]

WARNING: frank discussion of IRL transphobia; the deep deep spoilers to the Wonders of Mundus series as a whole are likely.

To Siobhan, Laina:
I - suspect you two had a better idea than I did of who young Tsukuda was but I would speak to you both about the context.

To Murderbot:
I suspect you are more inclined to talk to me over the Sendjewel than in person. My name is, for the sake of argument, Hikaru Aozora; I knew you in the story as Rin. I'd like to talk with you about what I perceived of what happened if you'll allow me.

Comments

[ohaiyo_isekai]

“Oh, Siobhan.”

He holds her, hand behind her head, literally offering his shoulder to cry on, letting his fingers run through hair soft as corn silk, a gesture meant to soothe her as much as it thrills him.

“None of us were meant to be, yet all of us are. And think on this: someone so much wanted you to exist, wanted to know a woman with your valor and romantic nature, that they wrote a story of you and your mother and the wicked man who married her, and of the one you were promised to who released you out of love, and the one who loved you back. A tale that hangs together so well that you could expand to fill the space in it’s gaps without self-contradiction.”

He takes a handkerchief, dries her tears with it.

“I was an accident, though a happy one. I was not meant to be for all I was loved. But you, you were a deliberate creation of love. If not Sigrun’s, than Durante’s and Wheeler’s, Thibault’s and Adams’ and Paloma’s.”

[codeswitchcraft]

She's quiet for a while after that, still weeping silently. Listening to the voice of a god inside her head.

"I know," she whispers. "I do know that. I have been told that I am one of 'Mama Charley's' favorites. My story was deliberate. It is only my thinking mind that is not. But Hikaru... I would not have that thinking mind without Io-Chimera's murder. And it is a terrible thing to know that a god perished to give you true life."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

“Speak not so, bowslinger,” Hikaru murmurs to her. “We know it was wounded; but let us not dig its grave until we see the body. Even beyond that, and more importantly, consider that if it Wakened thee in extremis, it always could have. Your psyche whole and beautiful always had the potential to exist, should Io have dedicated spare hands and eyes to its creation. That your mind was bequeathed to thee in case it could not wreak further miracles does not change that it was the Titan’s gift, given unselfishly. Thy psyche, the whole tetrad of thy soul, is not the mere spent lifeblood of Mundus’ oldest protector, must not be, does not make sense if that is all it is.”

[codeswitchcraft]

"Hikaru, no," Siobhan says, stepping back from him. "I know you only wish to console me and you are not wrong about the potential that I had, that any of us had to Awaken, but that still does not change that I would not have Awakened if Mundus-Chimera were not destroyed. I have been embodied with resources that were never meant for me, Hikaru. I was always to be a story. I was never meant to live."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

Hikaru sighs.

“Perhaps not,” he says. “Perhaps that potential would never have been realized, was not meant for the purpose of giving you life. And if that’s so, that is a wound I cannot hope to understand, let alone attempt to cure.”

It was hard enough to grapple with never having been a girl; how can he possibly wrestle with having never been a person, until you were?

“Can you forgive me for being glad to have met you, loved you, despite that?”

[codeswitchcraft]

She blinks away tears. "Yes," she says. "I can. If you can trust that I understand far better the situation with Mundus than even you do—even if many details were simplified for my comprehension. It was the details that were simplified. Not the truth."

She takes a deep breath and lets it out.

"I would trust you now with how I know such things—unless this is another secret of mine you have somehow discovered the truth of, like you have done twice already."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

“Rin may have betrayed part of it in innocence,” Hikaru said. “He assumed I had decoded the files he sent you. I could do no such thing, not with just the Sendjewel - but I don’t know how you did so for yourself. I had assumed you had found a hidden function of it for the use of the Devteam…”

He laughs, once.

“Still. Two of three is not bad.”

[codeswitchcraft]

"I didn't do it for myself," Siobhan says, simply. Her eyes glow white and with a voice that isn't her own (but was, like all the elemental siblings, made from the voice print of one of the OWTB founders) says instead, "I did. And if you betray her or I, Akira Tsukuda, then you will only wish that you might die swiftly from my arrows."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

“Doctor Durante…?”

No. Not Doctor Charlene Durante but her digital child.

Hikaru’s eyes go wide.

“I - may I die slowly strangled in the snare that caught me like a hapless coney, oh Fae Warden of the Wyld, patron of my Mundane kith and kin, should I betray you or your mortal avatar who is so dear to me,” he says, thinking very quickly.

[codeswitchcraft]

"As well you might, Akira Tsukuda," the goddess says, "for she is dear to me too."

Then she sighs and codeswitches just as easily and fluently as he's ever seen Siobhan do it.

"But seriously, Heeks, this is completely need to know, okay? Sio is insisting that you in particular are trustworthy and it's better if all three of you know this piece of me is here—especially because you'll understand everything I need to simplify for her or Laina—but this operation is precarious AF."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

“If the Griefers could injure Io, they can injure you, possibly even through your connection to Siobhan,” Hikaru says. “Yes. Trust me again if you would that I understand the stakes. …and that my intentions towards your daughter are entirely honorable.”

Hikaru puts a palm on his forehead, fingers splayed into his hair, thinking harder than he ever has.

“And now that I have the chance to do so personally, thank you,” he says. “For your part in saving her, and us, from the disjointed Scyllan Horror of the glitch sargasso. Blood and breath to you, Thorne - though I might have to substitute something of equal worth to properly honor you. You know I’m good for it.”

[codeswitchcraft]

"I'll await my substitute offering, then," the goddess says. "And at some point soon you and I will need to spend time together in Sio and Laina's room, so I can explain what is going on to you—and how I could convert the files for Siobhan. But since you're likely to remain outside longer—"

The white light fades and Siobhan herself says, "She's given me back the driver's seat of the wagon."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

“Welcome back, my love. Your second mother can be quite terrifying when she needs to be, you know.”

This lightly, but also entirely truthfully. Hikaru is so fucking glad that Thorne is on his side.

“…I actually have an idea for what to give her, and you. Can you assume human form? Some kept the shape they were in Woodhurst in their back pockets, and I still have those measurements, but not your true ones.”

[codeswitchcraft]

"Can and did," Siobhan says. "It was painful, because my clothing didn't grow with me, so I called upon Thorne's help right away and she reconfigured my body back to normal and then stayed in the driver's seat for a little while. Just in case. And she says she learned it from her third mother."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

“Then meet me in the artisan’s room in a week - I’ve learned how to tune that minor Waygate to the destination I’d prefer - and I shall be able to present it to you both, though perhaps not totally completed. And Siobhan -“

[codeswitchcraft]

"Mm?"

[ohaiyo_isekai]

“May I have the pleasure of doing unto thee as thou hast done unto Akira, when you recognized him?”

Oh, that grin as he asks.

[codeswitchcraft]

She goes as pink as the rose tucked behind her ear.

"Yes. Please."

[ohaiyo_isekai]

Turns out he’s better at it than Akira.

Like. A lot better. 30 years of practice better.

[codeswitchcraft]

Siobhan ends up clinging to him just to remain upright.