FeedLog01.entry

[ugh_emotions]

[Surprisingly quickly after the arrival of the recommended reading, a typed rant appears on the bulletin board. It is not signed.]

This Twilight book is fucking terrible and here is why:

• It's boring
  
• It's a stupid romance
  
• Uses way to much of that thing where like, things are emphasised a lot. Hyperbolic, or whatever
  
• Story structure is shit, most of it is about the stupid boring romance with the stupid boring characters, and then hostiles appear out of nowhere without even one scene ominously hinting about their existence
  
• Planetary Security in this place sucks
  
• The stupid fucking love interest Edward also sucks and is clearly hostile
  
• If Bella has to have a stupid love interested she should pick someone less likely to murder her
  
• He admits to wanting to eat her
  
• He breaks and enters into her sleeping quarters, as well as other clear stalking behaviours
  
• Seriously he keeps going on about how much he wants to eat Bella, what the fuck
  
• Why is she not concerned about this, does she want to fucking die
  
• Bella is also terrible. And boring.
  
• (Also Edward liking her smell is disgusting, that's just gross)
  
• The hostiles that arrived at the end distracted from the stupid romance plot, so I guess that sucked slightly less than the rest of the book, but it was still badly written and fucking stupid

In conclusion: it sucks.

Comments

[flantastic]

What is it with some people and wanting to eat humans, even in stories? Why is this a theme? No one sensible would ever do this but it keeps coming up.

[silkwaltz]

[The reply is in a very neat, thin, calligraphy hand.]

It sounds disjointed, to be sure but... eating one's mate is romantic. I mean, not until after they've sired children for you or it's a terrible waste, but then they're always with you.

I... I'm not sure about the idea of the male being the one to eat the female, though, that seems strange. To say nothing of this Bella not responding to Edward's intrusion into her space without permission with anything less than dismemberment. Is she... well? Perhaps it's simply a poorly written horror story?

[ugh_emotions]

I don't know, it does happen. Sometimes. Usually only when things are really, really fucked. Or there's fauna.

Sticking around the thing that wants to eat you is still fucking stupid.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

Minor correction on one very important point: Edward, being a vampire, wants to drink her blood because vampires can't eat anything else. Not necessarily a fatal amount of it, we've got a lot of blood and if he takes it all she'll wake up as a vampire.

Will not disagree on the rest of it being a disaster but if we end up running into Fucking Vampires and Fucking Werewolves, the distinction is handy.

Also, in those cases, I recommend fire and the use of silvered blades, bullets and bludgeons, respectively. Sufficient amounts of thermal or radiant energy of any kind will work in a pinch.

- Hikaru, 光

[ugh_emotions]

He wants to consume her internal bits. That counds as eating.

Also if he can only eat blood, then he should get a medbay to print some for him. He doesn't have to bite people. Bite wounds are dangerous.

[The bit about the recommended weapons is noted, but not responded to.]

[stabgremlin]

Is romance not always stupid?

In all seriousness, making that amount of drama boring has to be some sort of talent.
Stalking, violence, cannibalism(?)...

I mean, that sounds like what you'd see on an average afternoon in any reputable establishment in the Empire, but there it's never boring— even when you get the aftermath summarized in writing.



... How complete is your summary here though?
Good enough for me to skip the reading?

- Major Nahain

[ohaiyo_isekai]

This appears to be prior to the the thirties, printing arbitrary amounts of blood is not available at that era and sourcing medical supplies dubious.

Also there’s probably Magic Bullshit reasons why he can’t make do with animal blood, there always is in these stories, on Mundus it’s because they have lower concentrations of magical energy in their blood compared to Namers.

- Hikaru, 光

[ugh_emotions]

[There is only one rational response to this horror. Complete and total horror, and a frantic attempt to try and figure out how to delete someone else's response.

It does not figure out how to delete someone else's response. It has to resort to physically sticking a piece of paper over the comment in its journal, so it can't see it anymore.

Then it deletes the memory of having ever see the comment in the first place. The only thing it leaves is a note to itself telling it to never, ever go back and look at the comment again.]

[ugh_emotions]

Yes. It is.

Complete enough. You don't want to read it. It's not worth it.

[It read it, and it regrets it so much.]

[stabgremlin]

Considering the... Everything... About being here and all... Is this recommended reading thing going to bite us all in the ass in any particular way?


Just out of curiosity and all.
I'm assuming we're not being told we should read it for the love of the game.

Or maybe we are.
Haven't been here long enough to be making that call.

So if there's any other relevant information not included in your summary?

- Major Nahain

[stabgremlin]

[Is this reply for him? No.

Is he going to respond to it anyway? Yes.]

Oh good, looks like I'm not the only one here from a deeply messed up society.

Good to know.

Considering the "female eating the male thing"... Insectoid?
Or something else?

- Major Nahain

[codeswitchcraft]

[Congratulations. Sio finally taught herself how to use the notebook network for this. Her reply is in a very elegant Kurrentschrift.]

If I were Bella, I would flee to the lands of her friend Jacob and his Tribe.

[codeswitchcraft]

Oh no, he is making do with animal blood. That was in the book. He just also really wants to eat her.

[terraboo]

If this were my first vampire fiction, it would leave me incapable of appreciating the sexuality of vampires that's long been part of the tales around them.

Also, of denim jeans. Though I don't get that one anyways.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

I will be perfectly honest: my eyes may have slid off the page after a while. This is stunningly similar to a book and film series I roundly and correctly mocked during my Michiko years and it’s nice to know dubious consent and taste is a multiversal constant.

Now if you’ll excuse me I am going to write a stern letter to Heinlein. World as Myth fucking sucks it turns out.

voice;

[defyingreality]

The only vampires that matters are The Count and Naynpire. All the rest are clearly inferior.

[silkwaltz]

Messed up? I'm afraid I don't follow...

[Sorry, Demure is still a bit lost in the social conditioning sauce yet.]

Drider, actually. So... arachnoid, by your terminology, I suppose?

- Demure of Clan Hla'afin

[flantastic]

Back home I was hunting down the ones who wanted to eat the humans. Took care of the problem.

Guess I'm prepared for this.

[codeswitchcraft]

Oh. I read the whole thing just in case.

[stabgremlin]

Can't say I'm familiar with... Is the plural "driders" or something else?

But arachnoid explains it well enough.

Less messed up for you then but most humanoids find the concept of eating your mate to be less romantic and more somewhere on a sliding scale from "squicky" to "deeply traumatizing"— depending on who you ask.

- Major Nahain

[steelfeathered]

Sometimes people just smell good.

[silkwaltz]

'Driders' would be correct, yes.

I mean... it's seen as wasteful and unseemly to eat your mate too early of course. The more children he can sire, the more your Clan gets out of the match after all. But it's also wasteful not to eat them eventually. Waiting until you're both older and he cannot sire any more young is the romantic ideal.

[stabgremlin]

Good to know.

I think a lot of arachnoid and insectoid species would agree on those points. I haven't asked, but I think killiks probably also operate on similar... Romantic ideals? At least for the members of their Hives that share their biology, anyway.

But for most human or near-human species, the thought of eating anything that can form a complete sentence is deeply uncomfortable.

Even when they've outlived their perceived usefulness.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

A braver or at least more patient woman than I, but I knew you demonstrated all the Resolve your sheet accolades before I knew you truly. Any relevant details?

And I do fear it will be vampires and werewolves, and worse, the same kind of love triangle. Up to us to write it better.

But remember also that Bodysnatchers alone was deceptive.

[codeswitchcraft]

At least I have practice with the love triangle part, I suppose.

And yes, I do remember. That's why I'm going to watch the film as well just to be sure. Do you want to watch it with me?