FeedLog01.entry

[ugh_emotions]

[Surprisingly quickly after the arrival of the recommended reading, a typed rant appears on the bulletin board. It is not signed.]

This Twilight book is fucking terrible and here is why:

• It's boring
  
• It's a stupid romance
  
• Uses way to much of that thing where like, things are emphasised a lot. Hyperbolic, or whatever
  
• Story structure is shit, most of it is about the stupid boring romance with the stupid boring characters, and then hostiles appear out of nowhere without even one scene ominously hinting about their existence
  
• Planetary Security in this place sucks
  
• The stupid fucking love interest Edward also sucks and is clearly hostile
  
• If Bella has to have a stupid love interested she should pick someone less likely to murder her
  
• He admits to wanting to eat her
  
• He breaks and enters into her sleeping quarters, as well as other clear stalking behaviours
  
• Seriously he keeps going on about how much he wants to eat Bella, what the fuck
  
• Why is she not concerned about this, does she want to fucking die
  
• Bella is also terrible. And boring.
  
• (Also Edward liking her smell is disgusting, that's just gross)
  
• The hostiles that arrived at the end distracted from the stupid romance plot, so I guess that sucked slightly less than the rest of the book, but it was still badly written and fucking stupid

In conclusion: it sucks.

Comments

[ugh_emotions]

He wants to consume her internal bits. That counds as eating.

Also if he can only eat blood, then he should get a medbay to print some for him. He doesn't have to bite people. Bite wounds are dangerous.

[The bit about the recommended weapons is noted, but not responded to.]

[ohaiyo_isekai]

This appears to be prior to the the thirties, printing arbitrary amounts of blood is not available at that era and sourcing medical supplies dubious.

Also there’s probably Magic Bullshit reasons why he can’t make do with animal blood, there always is in these stories, on Mundus it’s because they have lower concentrations of magical energy in their blood compared to Namers.

- Hikaru, 光

[codeswitchcraft]

Oh no, he is making do with animal blood. That was in the book. He just also really wants to eat her.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

I will be perfectly honest: my eyes may have slid off the page after a while. This is stunningly similar to a book and film series I roundly and correctly mocked during my Michiko years and it’s nice to know dubious consent and taste is a multiversal constant.

Now if you’ll excuse me I am going to write a stern letter to Heinlein. World as Myth fucking sucks it turns out.

[codeswitchcraft]

Oh. I read the whole thing just in case.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

A braver or at least more patient woman than I, but I knew you demonstrated all the Resolve your sheet accolades before I knew you truly. Any relevant details?

And I do fear it will be vampires and werewolves, and worse, the same kind of love triangle. Up to us to write it better.

But remember also that Bodysnatchers alone was deceptive.

[codeswitchcraft]

At least I have practice with the love triangle part, I suppose.

And yes, I do remember. That's why I'm going to watch the film as well just to be sure. Do you want to watch it with me?

[ohaiyo_isekai]

I think also that the Bard will be relevant… which at least promises better writing. Gods. I used to perform Shakespeare, along with my first real love, when I had just started in university. Ah, though I won’t elaborate on that short romance unless you wish it.

And yes, absolutely, though I can’t promise not to bring popcorn and laugh at the bathos.

[codeswitchcraft]

We'll watch the bard too, then. I like watching things with you.

And... given what I told you about Edmund and what you already knew about him, I think I would want to know about your old lover.

Private to spare Murderbot the details, I mean, Private to Sio

[ohaiyo_isekai]

His name was Jericho Keita, a drama major, social studies minor, close friend of Alesha, same ethnic background as Alesha. He had escaped from the influence of... one of the major Earthly inspirations for seeking the Name, and was to spite them the perfect Flammite, or perhaps a perfect Mutanic. He did nothing unless he did it passionately.

He was the Mercutio to my Tybalt, and I will show you Romeo and Juliet before the story so you know what that signifies. He also helped me... dispose of books by someone who Dreschner has a deep appreciation of, judging by some of her incantations. The reason I changed my cleaning incantation to Purgo.

I was young, newly male, and newly in college and away from my parents. He was dashing, charming, and excellent at flirting. It was inevitable that I would catch feelings and try to ride them.

They were letting you see the prior sendjewel conversation if you wanted BUT NOW IT IS HIDDEN

[codeswitchcraft]

Oh, so he was a rake.

[She sounds more amused than anything.]

Or at least, that's what I assume you mean by perfect Flammite. But I'm glad he helped you dispose of those books, even though I usually think destroying books is a waste, considering how difficult they are to make. Though my lady Thorne says that they aren't that difficult on Earth and also that if these are the books she thinks they are, they're probably worth burning. And I am glad you had someone to love before me.

What happened to him? Are you still friends? I know you well enough that if you were still with him, you wouldn't have wanted to be with me here.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

[Hikaru apparently laughs out of nowhere, cradling his right ear.]

You are not wrong. He could be infernally rakish.

And... I think the best way to put it is that the author betrayed all of those who sought adoption by the Maiden of the Barleycorn, the Last Laugh, your patron and the Changing Lord. Even the actors and actresses who brought her books to cinematic life rebuked her for it, as did Stephen King of the Dark Tower books.

While we are still friends that is exactly the problem, that I only have room in my heart for one man, one woman. To be with me would be to limit him in ways that would have made us both miserable. We are happier as friends than we would have been had we remain lovers, though I don't regret that autumn.

[codeswitchcraft]

Good. I'm glad. About all of it, but also about the man who wrote the story of the Dark Tower.

When I was feeling so very low and awful on the way to Viacruz with Tayeb, when I finally had time to think about what it meant to be a story and not a person, Thorne took the time to read to me the story of Childe Roland and the Dark Tower, so I would know that just because I am in a story does not mean I cannot do things outside and beyond the story. After all, Roland's ka-tet did.

So they're very important to me. And they're why my Huntress' Creed goes how it goes.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

What saved him after the car crash on my Earth was the thought that if he passed, the story would be unfinished, and thus the Tower would crumble. And so he refused to pass until the work was complete.

...you know, it's not inconceivable that you could meet him, if ever we seek your throne. He plays The Wonders of Mundus, as a svartalfar out of Salzstadt. Jeruselam Orbweaver, a Rogue. Another named for a story, as his compatriots Peachy Effervescent and and Chloe Oriza are, and as Zoe Carter is famously not.

[codeswitchcraft]

Peachy... that's the nom de guerre of Alesha's daughter, isn't it? Does he know her on Earth too? And I do think we will need to go to claim my throne eventually, not the least because Thorne says that there are artifacts hidden in Castle Verdholtz that will likely be needed in the days to come--it is the same with the Beauforte, which is why we needs must go there as well. And not only because I wish for you and Edmund to meet, though I do.

[ohaiyo_isekai]

He is her father.

By alchemical means, to be clear, Alesha did not lie with him nor would he ask her to; they are not each others type.

And I suspected as much. Many things can be found in the Beauforte Archives.

[codeswitchcraft]

That has the sound of a meme to it. And I do have a memory written into me whereupon with much judicious climbing Edmund and I found his father's pillow books when we were somewhat younger. Have adventurers also found them?

[ohaiyo_isekai]

He sings a bit of a ditty out loud:

“Welcome to another world, take a look around, where every thought of pike and shot the Devteam wrought is found…”

Among other things. More interesting were sketches of your Princess Cherry costume, or you in a pilot’s flightsuit in a Sylph class warstrider, patrolling off the moon of Jupiter named Io.

[codeswitchcraft]

She laughs and leans against him.

Really? Are they stored by where Edmund hides his drawings of me?

[ugh_emotions]

Whatever. I don't really care what stupid reasons he has for not acquiring blood in a nice, safe, non-maimy way. Hanging around someone who wants to bite you to drain your internal fluids is still stupid and dangerous.

['Team Edward' SecUnit is not. Although it probably wouldn't appreciate being lumped in with 'Team Jacob' either.]

[ohaiyo_isekai]

[He's on team Come On, Bella, You Can Do Better Than Them, yes.]

You and I are perfectly agreed on that. And the stalking thing. And... how do you have a war between supernatural creatures and make it boring?

[ugh_emotions]

That's because the writer is bad.